Jay Shetty & & Emma Watson ON Growing Up in the Public Eye

Can authenticity survive the spotlight?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty sat down with activist, actress, and humanitarian Emma Watson. She had intentionally stepped back from the public eye and interviews in recent years. Yet today she decided to open up to Jay and share intimate details about the emotional costs of a high-profile life.

On her journey far from public scrutiny, Watson chose to prioritize self-acceptance, and she gained a greater understanding of love, purpose, and creative expression.

On Purpose as a Safe Place

Emma Watson reached out to Jay Shetty and chose to give this interview because she felt like his work offered different conversations, which made her feel like On Purpose was the perfect setting for opening up to the world again. She explained that she hadn't stopped the interviews to hide, but rather to pursue a different kind of dialogue.

To her, traditional interviews felt intensely like playing chess. She felt a great sense of responsibility when speaking to journalists, aware that her words could potentially negatively impact a film or misrepresent a director's intention. Yet today she feels liberated, showing up only for herself and not speaking on behalf of anyone else.

Emma Watson observed that different platforms enable different types of conversation and dictate what can be shared where. She noted that, despite the best intentions, the inherent nature of a medium doesn't allow for genuine vulnerability. She much prefers the long-format of podcasts, because, apart from feeling intimate, listeners can enjoy them during personal times like showering, walking, or making breakfast. According to Watson, this structure facilitates a much deeper kind of discussion than was previously possible.

Life Beyond the Set

After choosing to step back from the spotlight, Emma Watson also transitioned from a structured life to a less structured one. She told Jay Shetty that she had recently started riding a bicycle after her driving ban, which became international news. Previously, when she was working on movie sets, she wasn't allowed to drive herself, so she had a driver, and she didn't have much practice.

Once she became a student and started enjoying a regular student life, Watson suddenly had to handle her own logistics, which felt unusual at the beginning. She found herself struggling with everyday chores, such as remembering keys or following speed limits, although she was capable of managing extremely complex tasks such as stunts, singing, and dancing on set.

Emma Watson admitted to Jay Shetty that the transition was humbling, and it helped her understand that most people are constantly navigating the chaos of life, scrambling to hold everything together. She now sees that what sets people apart in this struggle is their willingness to be honest about their challenges and vulnerabilities.

Learning and Failing in Public

Emma Watson grew up in the public eye; everything she learned and every mistake she made was public. She told Jay Shetty that one significant struggle was understanding feminism and intersectional feminism, where she recognized she had certain gaps in her knowledge. She is grateful for being lovingly called out rather than being criticized for her oversights.

Now, Watson believes that feeling uneasy in such a situation may be an indication that she is about to learn something new. It's the opposite of the instinct to flee when feeling discomfort. She consciously chose to return to school to ensure she continues to learn and has valuable things to say. Watson told Jay Shetty that young people impress her with their belief that the world is malleable and that things can be changed.

Escaping through Acting

Emma Watson's family constellation was non-traditional, stemming from her parents' divorce. She lived between two different houses and different sets of values. She told Jay Shetty that her upbringing forced her to become a critical thinker because no one would give her any easy answers.

Watson started acting after a poetry competition when she was nine. Looking back, she believes acting was a way of escaping the pain of the continuous split and instability of her family. When she played a part, she felt free from the discomfort of not knowing who she was.

The Harsh Reality of Hollywood

After filming Harry Potter for 12 years, the cast felt like family and lifelong friends; it was a community of trusted people. However, when Watson ventured into the acting world outside the Harry Potter series, she was surprised to learn that family feeling was not a given; on the contrary, it was often missed. Emma Watson told Jay Shetty that the fact that actors were focused on the role or job, and not seeking genuine relationships on set, was a painful realization.

Watson admitted that rejection and highly competitive environments broke her. That was one of the main reasons why she chose to leave the acting world behind and focus more on herself. Jay Shetty commended her intuition to leave before the environment could break her for good.

The Price of Peace

Emma Watson now chooses her personal peace over anything else; she said, "[if it] costs me any part of my peace, it's just too expensive." She used to be obsessed with excellence, and would give her best to achieve things like grades, movies, or a promotion, even if it meant sacrificing herself.

Now, she knows she must have people in the room who care about her more than the product. Watson described to Jay Shetty the extreme demands of the filmmaking industry, including working six days a week for 14 to 16 hours a day. This schedule causes great chemical imbalance and leads to high rates of addiction and mental illness for performers.

Emma Watson candidly told Jay Shetty that the reason behind her break was her health. While she practiced yoga and meditation, she used these tools as a coping mechanism for the stress she was under, rather than as inner discovery tools. She reached a point when she was constantly getting sick, and she realized she would have to choose between the level of medication and stopping, and properly taking care of herself. She chose the latter.

From the Public Persona to The Real Self

Emma Watson told Jay Shetty that even promoting her work as the actress and not the character was still playing a role. She felt like being the Emma Watson avatar was too heavy a burden, and she didn't know how to live up to the impossible expectations associated with magazine covers and fame. She also felt the discrepancy between her own intense preparation and that of her male co-stars, who weren't expected to look flawless at all times, as women would.

Attending glamorous events, like the red carpet, also felt stressful for Emma Watson; she shared that people screaming there sends the body into survival mode, because it seems that something is wrong. Yet, while the body is telling you to flee, you need to put on the most graceful demeanor and keep very calm.

Watson found a bridge between her public image and her reality after her UN speech on HeForShe; there, she felt like she could transmit her own thoughts, rather than being a custodian of a role. She told Jay Shetty that writing became her best therapy, especially a play she wrote during her Master's program. The play captured her journey from full-time actress and activist to being a regular student; moreover, it reveals emotions even her closest friends had no idea she was carrying.

A Partner for a Whole Person

For Emma Watson, the concept of love evolved over time, moving beyond the idea that falling in love is irreversible. She believes genuine love and partnership involve compatibility, humility, and the willingness to find a partner who will engage in a dance with you. Watson believes it's a constant checking in, making micro adjustments, and being as open and vulnerable as the relationship requires.

The expectation for her to marry or have a partner felt like violence to Emma Watson. She didn't use to know herself well enough for it, she admitted to Jay Shetty. But now she feels like she has reached a point in her life where she feels whole and complete, and believes that this should be the starting point before seeking a partner. If Watson chooses a partner, it's because she wants to, not because she needs them to feel whole.

Holding Dual Truths

Emma Watson opened up to Jay Shetty about public controversies, especially the comments made by JK Rowling about her views and her own expression of solidarity for Palestine. She explained that it's important to be able to hold two truths at the same time, as neither negates the other. Watson is grateful for the opportunity she had to play Hermione Granger and explained that the positive experiences she shared with JK Rowling don't have to be canceled out by their differing opinions.

When it comes to her solidarity for Palestine and being called anti-semite, Watson applied the principle of "yes and." She told Jay Shetty that one can care about both sides at the same time; both truths must be allowed to coexist. Watson firmly believes that nobody is disposable and that every human being deserves dignity and respect.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “Emma Watson EXCLUSIVE: The Story She Has Not Shared Until Now” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.