Jay Shetty & Hannah Berner ON Getting Fired Worked for the Best

Have you ever struggled to let go of a past goal or a long-standing identity, only to realize it was keeping you from discovering your true passion?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty welcomes comedian and content creator Hannah Berner to discuss why quitting can be a powerful strategy for finding greater fulfillment. She opens up about what it's like to thrive in male-dominated environments and how her early dreams in tennis unexpectedly paved the way for her rise in the comedy world.

Early Ambitions and Delusional Confidence

Hannah Berner opens up to Jay Shetty about her young years - ever since she was seven, she dreamed of becoming a professional tennis player despite not having much experience with this sport. She considers her younger self delusional because she pursued bold, unconventional dreams in spite of all the skepticism around her. The comedian thinks this strong self-confidence came from her feelings of constant restlessness, never satisfied with conforming to an imposed norm.

Berner admits to Jay Shetty that she found structured activities to be overly limiting. As a teenager, she preferred sports because of the physical intensity, yet she didn't compete for trophies, but rather to push personal limits. She used to look up to figures in popular culture (like Serena Williams) and wondered why she couldn't be the one to achieve those milestones. Her constant questioning and desire to get better set the stage for a life of ongoing reinvention.

Leaving Tennis Behind

Hannah Berner played at a top collegiate level at the University of Wisconsin, where she performed as the team's number-one player. Although many viewed that accomplishment as a success in itself, the comedian felt like a failure for not making it to Wimbledon. So, despite her many achievements, Berner always believed she had fallen short of the impossibly high standards she had set for herself.

The comedian shares with Jay Shetty a traumatic event that occurred during her senior year, when she was hit by a car on her way to morning practice. While she recovered in time for the tournament, she still lost multiple third-set tiebreakers by very small margins. In spite of her overall success, Berner decided to walk away and leave her professional tennis player career behind.

Hannah Berner admitted to Jay Shetty that her decision to leave the tennis world was partly because she didn't feel any more thrill after winning, so she felt like she had outgrown this career. Gradually, the comedian started seeing how being an athlete prepared her for life, making her more resilient and disciplined.

Embracing the Art of Quitting

Hannah Berner told Jay Shetty that knowing when to give up and walk away is an art, and it requires strength to do so. The comedian shares how she was let go multiple times, forcing her to change the course of her career. After quitting tennis, she briefly ventured into video production, but she got fired. Then she moved on to reality TV, but she was let go from there, too. Berner explains that being fired repeatedly could shake your identity, but she found liberation in these seemingly negative experiences.

The comedian believes that, when an experience stops bringing you joy, it's time to move on. She told Jay Shetty that when she realized her tennis wins no longer made her happy, she understood she was clinging to a narrative that no longer suited her. Hannah Berner thinks that quitting isn't always cowardice, but sometimes it can be an act of self-awareness and courage. She also notes that many people often remain stuck out of fear of disapproval; however, the comedian emphasizes that the skills you gain from previous efforts will often prove valuable for your next chapter.

Anxiety as an Indicator of Misalignment

Hannah Berner openly admits to Jay Shetty that her anxiety is her internal compass, telling her when it's time to move on again. Growing up in a competitive tennis environment, she learned to ignore her body's signals, so she could focus better on the field. Her coaches discouraged her from recognizing exhaustion, mental fatigue, or fear. Because of that, stress manifested for her in the form of tense shoulders, a racing heartbeat, etc. The comedian highlights that many people tend to ignore their body's cues because they see them as personal weaknesses.

Yet, as she grew up, Hannah Berner understood that anxiety indicated a deeper misalignment and that if it persisted even during successful moments, it was a clue that she was forcing herself on the wrong track. She told Jay Shetty that she almost never faced anxiety prior to going on stage in her comedian career. Conversely, she had constant performance anxiety as a tennis player. Having experienced both worlds, Berner insists that sometimes stepping back is a healthier option than powering through.

Appearing on Reality TV

One of Hannah Berner's endeavors was appearing on a reality show on Bravo. She became known for her quick humor and bold personality, but after two successful seasons, the third one didn't go as well. She told Jay Shetty that she was fired via a Zoom call, being told that her services were no longer required.

The comedian felt deeply hurt after the incident because reality TV is all about being yourself, so her dismissal felt like a rejection of her entire identity. She confessed to Jay Shetty that she cried and saw herself as a failure. But, at the same time, she also felt an odd sense of relief because the atmosphere seemed to have drained her more than lift her up. Then, she moved on to having a Netflix special, which came after five years of putting in the work. She explains that getting a Netflix special requires taking many steps before; she co-hosted a talk show, developed her comic online presence, and built a fan base - all leading to her getting the contract.

Self-Confidence vs. Self-Worth

Jay Shetty and Hannah Berner discuss the difference between self-confidence and self-worth. The first one is often tied to accomplishments and can fluctuate when we depend on external approval. On the other hand, self-worth remains consistent because it is based on an inherent belief in your own value.

The comedian explains how easily she felt devalued after a few poor performances in her tennis career; it was a time when she mistook her identity for her achievements or ranking. When she transitioned to comedy, she initially faced similar insecurities. Yet, through therapy and self-reflection exercises, she learned to manage these inner voices differently. Hannah Berner understood that success in comedy isn't about flawlessly executing every line, which made her appreciate the act of being on stage itself. This is when she also learned that self-worth is based on resilience and perspective, rather than a flawless record of achievements.

From Victim Mindset to Empowerment

Jay Shetty admires how Hannah Berner accepted her series of firings without getting bitter. She admits wanting revenge sometimes, but then she channeled her frustration into self-growth rather than harming others. While reality TV thrives on scapegoatism or sensationalism, the comedian realized that her feelings wouldn't alter the decisions made by the production team.

Instead of seeking revenge, Berner accepted the situation and moved on. Eventually, her journey with comedy became her ultimate comeback because it validated her talent on her own terms. Jay Shetty agrees that the best revenge is building something you love that allows you to thrive, rather than dwelling on the past. The comedian also explains that being misunderstood in the public eye pushed her to take accountability for her personal life.

Loving Without the Games

Hannah Berner opened up to Jay Shetty about her love life, explaining that, initially, she treated it like her athletic career. She chased emotionally unavailable men for the thrill of winning them over. Despite appearing confident on the outside, she was unknowingly protecting herself from true vulnerability. She observes that many people often rely on superficial traits (looks, status, minimal emotional connection) to mask their deeper intimacy fears.

But when she met her now-husband, Des Bishop, Berner felt real safety and emotional respect. Although their relationship moved fast, it didn't feel forced because she had finally allowed herself to experience an authentic connection. She shares with Jay Shetty that she now understands that profound love revolves around mutual support rather than conquest. Moreover, the comedian believes that true partnership begins when the other person is willing to sit with you in the trenches (and vice versa), whether during job loss, grief, or everyday anxiety.

Baby Steps Will Take You Far

Throughout her career, Hannah Berner excelled in typically male-dominated areas, such as sports, comedy, and entertainment. She shares with Jay Shetty two pieces of advice for women facing gender stereotypes or the fear of failure:

1. Stop believing that you need to be overqualified to apply for a position or start a new project.
2. Use your distinct strengths, such as empathy, humor, or a willingness to challenge the status quo.

Hannah Berner told Jay Shetty that women often need to take into account more factors when outlining their career path, such as concerns about potential motherhood or stability. To achieve success, the comedian recommends taking small, consistent steps rather than a big, sudden leap. She stresses that many people want to jump directly to the result, but are unwilling to put in the work required to build a solid foundation. According to Berner, baby steps often surpass grand ideas that never get put into practice.

Hannah Berner shares with Jay Shetty how she secured her Netflix special - she broke her goal into smaller, manageable milestones. Then, she traced them backward until she was able to identify the very first step she needed to take. She began by writing her scripts, then scheduling local gigs, refining her material, growing an online presence, pitching to well-known festivals, etc. Although she has several milestones in the public eye, the comedian explains that the foundational work for success is done behind the scenes.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.