In this episode of the On Purpose podcast, Jay Shetty interviews Roxie Nafousi, a manifestation coach and author of Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life. Nafousi shares her journey of self-discovery and spiritual awakening.
Nafousi reveals to Jay Shetty that she struggled with addiction, depression, and self-loathing for many years before embarking on her path to healing. She also opens up about her childhood as a Muslim in Oxford, England, and the discrimination she faced.
Nafousi credits her spiritual awakening to a rock bottom moment in 2018 when she realized she was living a life that wasn't authentic to who she was. This realization led her to seek out spiritual practices and self-help books, eventually leading to the creation of her book on manifestation.
Nafousi emphasizes the importance of authenticity and self-love in the manifestation process. She told Jay Shetty, "The most important thing is to love yourself and know that you're worthy of everything you want." She also emphasizes the power of gratitude and visualization in manifesting one's desires.
From Drugs to Spirituality
Nafousi shares with Jay Shetty her story of addiction and how she learned to manifest what she wanted when she was in a place of low self-confidence and self-worth. She explained how she first got introduced to drugs and how her addiction started. First, she started drinking alcohol casually, and then at 18, she took cocaine for the first time and loved it. The drug gave her false confidence that helped her overcome her low self-confidence. As a result, she began taking it more frequently, and by the age of 22, she was attending NA meetings because she knew she had an addiction. "The shame that comes when you're constantly trying to remove yourself from something is traumatic," she told Jay Shetty.
Nafousi admitted to initially manifesting negativity in her life. As a result, she spent much time alone due to many canceled plans. Finally, she realized she was manifesting those outcomes because of her negative self-talk. "I realized that your subconscious was susceptible as you're falling asleep," she explained to Jay Shetty. This was when she decided to start her healing journey by falling asleep to affirmation playlists, as she realized that the subconscious mind is susceptible as one falls asleep.
Nafousi emphasized the importance of vulnerability and self-compassion in the healing process. But, she admitted to Jay Shetty, "I think sometimes we forget that we're allowed to be kind to ourselves; we're allowed to be compassionate with ourselves."
Nafousi believes that manifesting can get a bad reputation from TikTok videos that give false information and misconceptions about the practice. Her book, in particular, is for skeptics, and she challenges them to read it and not feel better about their lives afterward.
Nafousi wanted to make a career for herself in serving others, and her purpose was to inspire people. So she hosted a self-love workshop, and 100 people came. It was a success, and she decided to host another workshop on manifestation after following and learning about the topic. This is how she came up with the seven steps of manifesting.
Focus on The Positive
Believing in yourself and your desires is crucial, Nafousi told Jay Shetty. Manifestation requires a positive mindset; the key is to focus on what you want instead of what you don't want. In addition, you must be willing to let go of the things that no longer serve you to create space for new and better things.
Nafousi explains to Jay Shetty that expressing gratitude attracts more positive experiences into your life and can also help shift your mindset to a more positive one.
Manifesting is a powerful technique that involves science, philosophy, and wisdom. Nafousi encourages skeptics to learn more about the practice and challenges them to read her book. Expressing gratitude is also crucial to manifesting and attracting more positivity into your life.
The Seven Steps
According to Manifest, the seven steps of manifestation are:
- Be clear in your vision
- Remove fear and doubt
- Align your behavior
- Overcome tests from the universe
- Embrace gratitude without caveats
- Turn envy into inspiration
- Trust in the universe
Step three, which is about aligning your behavior with your vision, was one of Jay Shetty’s favorite steps.. This involves taking action toward your goals and ensuring that your daily habits and routines align with the life you want to manifest. Another favorite of Jay's was step six, about turning envy into inspiration. Nafousi breaks down the misconception that manifestation is simply visualization and positive thinking. Instead, she emphasizes the importance of hard work and taking action toward your goals.
Misconceptions about Manifestation
Nafousi also highlights some common misconceptions surrounding manifestation. The first is that visualization alone will lead to success. While visualization can be helpful, it is not a magic solution. Hard work and action are still necessary. Another misconception is that manifestation is just a series of rituals, such as meditation or visualization. Rather, it is a self-development practice that encompasses all aspects of life. Nafousi debunks that you can manifest things entirely out of your control, such as winning the lottery. Manifestation is about empowerment and self-belief, which allows you to make things happen, but it does not guarantee luck. Being clear about your vision can prime your subconscious to help you achieve your goals, Nafousi told Jay Shetty. She suggests creating a vision board to help clarify your dreams and desires.
Fear and Self-Doubt
Jay Shetty shares that his approach to manifesting has never been about being specific with numbers or things. Instead, it has been about using the gifts he has been given in the service of others. However, fear and self-doubt can often prevent people from even starting to manifest their goals.
Nafousi describes fear and doubt as overwhelming emotions that are difficult to overcome. However, she believes that we are born with confidence and self-love. You can often see it in young children who think they deserve everything they want. However, life experiences can cause us to believe that we aren't enough or must mold ourselves to please others. Nafousi suggests that conditional love from parents is a common factor in developing these beliefs.
However, as we grow up and experience life, we begin to believe that we aren't good enough or deserving of what we desire. Nafousi attributes this to the conditional love we receive from our parents and other authority figures. She explained that the love we receive is often based on our behavior and can be withdrawn if we misbehave or show negative emotions.
As a result, we start to mold ourselves to please those around us, including our parents, teachers, peers, and partners. This conditioning leads to a lack of self-worth and can make it difficult to overcome fear and doubt when it comes to manifesting. Nafousi noted that undoing this conditioning and returning to a bright, confident, childlike self can be a big job. She emphasized that the trick is to begin with compassion and to avoid judging ourselves for having fear and doubt in the first place.
Nafousi encouraged listeners to start by apologizing to their inner child for not feeling confident and asking what they could do to heal. She suggested finding ways to reprogram one's neural pathways and belief systems and changing one's approach to self-care and self-love. Nafousi emphasized that this journey of self-discovery and healing can be profound and life-changing.
Jay Shetty added that many people either put up a facade of confidence or hide their insecurities, making it difficult to connect with others and manifest their desires. He pointed out that it's essential to be honest about one's fears and doubts and approach them with curiosity rather than judgment. Furthermore, Shetty emphasized that self-love and compassion are crucial to overcoming fear and doubt regarding manifestation.
Research has shown that self-compassion can improve well-being, stress reduction, and relationships.1
They also discussed the benefits of positive affirmations and visualization exercises in building confidence and self-worth.
People want to manifest too many things, and it is vital to have clarity on your purpose and priorities. For example, Nafousi argues that doing something you love is essential. It becomes easier to prioritize it if you're passionate about your work. She told Jay Shetty, "If people are going, 'Well, I don't want to prioritize my work and have to give up my social life, you know, have to give up this,' it's probably because you're not really that passionate about the work." Therefore, Nafousi encourages the audience to recognize that their priorities change and not to be intimidated by the idea that these will remain the same throughout their life. Priorities can change day to day and week to week.
Manifestation helps align behavior with goals, and priorities give focus and help with decision-making. However, it's impossible to prioritize everything at once, and priorities change. So it's vital to get comfortable with that. Nafousi recognizes that balancing mom guilt with manifesting can be challenging. She explains that her professional priority is communicating her message and inspiring people. But she knows that her priority will change when she gets home, where her focus will shift to her son. Nafousi encourages the audience to find a job they love, which will help them balance their personal and professional life. Prioritizing is critical to decision-making, and having clarity on one's purpose and priorities is essential to align behavior with goals.
Choosing Your Identity
Another important factor is choosing your identity and aligning your behavior with your true self. For example, Nafousi openly shared with Jay Shetty how she had changed her name from the foreign-sounding Rawan to Roxie.
Nafousi describes how becoming Roxie helped her become who she wanted to be. In the beginning, Roxie was a persona that helped her build confidence and feel included. Fortunately, her family accepted her decisions and supported her.
Jay Shetty also shared his experience of struggling with his identity in school. He felt his only options were to be a rebel or class clown to fit in. Jay said, "My identity became class rebel and class clown." However, he felt uncomfortable pretending to be someone he wasn't and realized that his behavior was not aligned with his true self.
Align Your Behavior with Your Goals
Jay Shetty notes that people often focus on manifesting their goals without realizing that aligning their behavior means doing anything to achieve them. They often make the mistake of aligning their behavior with reality or truth that they would never subscribe to. This leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Nafousi shares how she achieved this alignment by prioritizing self-care, meditation, and reflection. In addition, she emphasizes the importance of understanding what makes you happy and pursuing that rather than what society or others expect of you. Empathy and service are essential to personal growth and fulfillment. To Nafousi, kindness and helping others have been critical to her well-being and fulfillment. She cites a study that found volunteering can positively affect mental health, happiness, and life satisfaction.2
Therefore, choosing your identity, aligning your behavior with your true self, and focusing on intrinsic motivation and internal validation are essential. Opening yourself up to vulnerability, empathy, and service to personal growth and fulfillment is also crucial. Becoming who we truly are requires intentional choices and aligning our behavior with our values and authentic selves.
Jay Shetty explained that manifestation is often perceived as magical. Yet the actual method is structured and requires a process and system. The journey toward manifestation includes doing things one may not enjoy serving a greater mission. Nafousi believes being clear on your vision is crucial. It explains why you do things you may not enjoy to achieve your goals. Moreover, she notes that there is often an aversion to discomfort and hard work, as our brains are wired to keep us safe and happy. However, she believes self-discipline is a part of self-love. Therefore, finding motivation and commitment to step outside your comfort zone to grow is essential: "If you want to see and create change in your life, you have to be the change, like you are the driving force behind everything."
According to Jay Shetty, envy seems to be one of the most exciting emotions, often mentioned in the Vedas. Nafousi believes jealousy stems from a scarcity mindset, the fear that something is insufficient. She recommends turning envy into inspiration.Gratitude is also crucial in the process of manifestation. Nafousi believes it helps shift one's focus from what they don't have to what they do have. This allows them to attract more abundance into their lives.Furthermore, taking action toward your goals is vital. Jay Shetty states, "You can't just think your way to your dream life; you have to act your way into it." Therefore, taking small steps toward daily goals is crucial for progress. Nafousi believes, too, that surrendering to the universe and letting go of control is a way of trusting the universe and letting it work its magic.
Jay Shetty believes that finding balance is crucial. It is about prioritizing the things that matter most. Finally, Nafousi notes that self-care is vital in the manifestation process. Taking care of yourself allows you to serve your mission better.The manifestation process involves:
- Aligning behavior with goals.
- Finding the motivation to step outside of your comfort zone.
- Turning envy into inspiration.
- Practicing gratitude.
- Taking action towards your goals.
- Surrendering to the universe.
- Finding balance in life.
Discomfort As A Catalyst for Change
Discomfort can lead to self-respect, which in turn creates self-confidence and energy. Jay Shetty emphasizes the importance of being in it for healing and appreciating different healing styles. Comfort can make self-care, but discomfort creates self-respect.
To Nafousi, the importance of mental strength lies in the little things, such as staying in an ice bath for six minutes. Pushing through discomfort builds self-discipline, self-respect, and self-trust. All these make a person feel empowered and confident. Likewise, doing hard things that are meaningful is crucial to the improvement process.
Going through meaningful hardships unlocks a new mindset and makes it easy to manifest. Therefore, it is crucial to be clear about your values and know what you want, not wanting something because someone else thinks it is cool.
More From Jay Shetty
Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “Roxie Nafousi ON Manifestation Masterclass & How to Set Better Intentions to Attract Your Dream Life” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.
1Dunne S, Sheffield D, Chilcot J. Brief report: Self-compassion, physical health and the mediating role of health-promoting behaviours. Journal of Health Psychology. 2018;23(7):993-999. doi:10.1177/1359105316643377
2Yeung JWK, Zhang Z, Kim TY. Volunteering and health benefits in general adults: cumulative effects and forms. BMC Public Health. 2017 Jul 11;18(1):8. doi: 10.1186/s12889-017-4561-8. Erratum in: BMC Public Health. 2017 Sep 22;17 (1):736. PMID: 28693551; PMCID: PMC5504679.
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