Jay Shetty & David Grutman ON How to Open Doors to Success

What if you’re supposed to take it all personally, so you can achieve success?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty sat down with David Grutman, the mastermind behind some of the world’s most iconic hospitality and nightlife venues in Miami and beyond. His book, Take It Personal: How to Succeed by Building Relationships and Playing the Long Game, is a manifesto for anyone who wants to build a career based on authentic relationships, extreme care, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. He shared with Jay Shetty how treating business as a personal matter has been the secret behind his incredible success.

Why You Must Take It Personal

David Grutman told Jay Shetty that his philosophy directly challenges the standard corporate mantra, which advises people not to take anything personally. He believes that doing the opposite shows how much he cares about the guest experience and the relationships he builds. He admitted that, if a friend chooses to host their birthday party at a competitor’s restaurant, he takes it as a personal affront and doesn’t shrug it off as simply business. To him, it’s either a breakdown in the relationship or the experience he provides.

David Grutman believes taking things personally isn’t about being vulnerable, but about extreme ownership. In his view, it is the very thing that drives change and improvement. He told Jay Shetty that early in his career, being reprimanded by his general manager was painful, but it also served as a catalyst for his growth. Today, Grutman’s entire team at Groot Hospitality has adopted his mantra. This way, they ensure that no detail is overlooked and no relationship is taken for granted.

Lessons in Leadership

Before becoming famous in the hospitality industry, Grutman was a bartender at a mall restaurant. He told Jay Shetty that he was successful even then, earning upwards of $100,000, mainly from tips, because of his ability to connect with people. He remembered the little things, like someone’s regular drink ready before they even reached the bar, or engaging in one-on-one conversations that made customers feel seen and cared for.

However, despite the high earnings, Grutman willingly took a pay cut to $33,000 to become a manager. He explained to Jay Shetty that he didn’t care as much about remuneration as he did about the education and the opportunity to lead, which helped develop his leadership style.

Grutman focused on being the most prepared person in the room to earn the respect of servers with decades more experience than he. Additionally, he would bring pamphlets to meetings and teach his staff about wines and how to pair them with various dishes from the menu, turning education into the bridge between connection and professional respect.

The Emotional Bank Account

Gutman explained to Jay Shetty that working in a high-pressure hospitality team requires knowledge of how to provide feedback. He calls his approach the “emotional bank account” – as a leader, he can’t provide only negative feedback, because the staff will eventually shut down and stop listening to you. Instead, he acknowledges small wins and gives praise as a form of emotional deposit so that, when he needs to make a withdrawal through criticism, the relationship doesn’t suffer.

Moreover, Grutman emphasized the importance of providing specific feedback, as vague feedback can feel demeaning and unhelpful. Instead, he prefers laser-focused critiques, such as telling a server exactly where they failed, explaining how their action ruined the guest’s experience. He told Jay Shetty that a high level of detail ensures the server understands why his mistake affected the guest and how to fix it in real time. Knowing what to do in the moment is an essential skill in the hospitality industry.

Collaboration with Bad Bunny and Drake

David Grutman opened up to Jay Shetty about the experience of building a partnership with Bad Bunny. He explained that he never chased the musician, but that years of investing in relationships without any immediate expectations of a transactional win paid off in the long run.

It all started when Grutman introduced Bad Bunny’s team to Drake, facilitating a meeting in his own backyard. While the meeting didn’t result in an immediate collaboration, Grutman continued to support both artists, even helping coordinate Bad Bunny’s surprise appearance at Drake’s Miami show years later.

Five years later, when Bad Bunny was negotiating a massive stadium tour deal with Live Nation, he included a clause in his contract asking to open a restaurant with David Grutman, which eventually led to the creation of Gekkō. Grutman told Jay Shetty that for years he had no financial benefit and was simply happy to help his friends win, knowing that authentic loyalty is more valuable in the long run than immediate pay-offs.

Authentic Connections vs. Strategic Networking

Networking is a term that David Grutman profoundly dislikes; he told Jay Shetty that he sees it as transactional and agenda-driven. Instead, he advocates building authentic relationships by first looking for ways to add value to others. Personally, Grutman makes a point of talking to everyone at the table where he is seated, not just the one labeled “the most important”.

David Grutman deeply believes that everyone has a story and can be a potential bridge to something great. People tend to avoid the friends of powerful people, failing to realize that these friends often offer more support and insights. Grutman told Jay Shetty that his goal is to make the entire table feel special, and he even holds most of his high-level business meetings at home rather than at his office. He believes that the intimacy of a home setting makes it much harder for people to say “no” and allows a deeper, more personal bond to be forged.

Getting an Ego Check

It’s not easy to stay grounded when you are very successful; Grutman admitted to Jay Shetty that his friend gave him a reality check and reminded him that, although he has achieved a lot, he isn’t a heart surgeon saving lives but is still a nightclub owner. He understood then that being cool was neither endearing nor sustainable.

While failure is something that you can quickly move away from, Grutman told Jay Shetty that success can make you feel untouchable, so you won’t ask for help. The antidote that Grutman uses is to rely on a strong inner circle, especially his wife, Isabela. She is Grutman’s most direct critic, keeping him in line because she has his best interests at heart. Another way to manage his ego is to focus on serving others and staying humble despite his status as a titan of industry.

Helping Each Other

In relationships, David Grutman uses a coupon system. He explained to Jay Shetty that, when someone does something special for him, the other person receives a mental coupon they can reclaim at any time, whether it’s a favor for a friend or a major business move. Grutman strongly believes in being there for the people who have been there for him, creating a constant state of gratitude and a cycle of giving that sustains his vast network.

Grutman clarified that the coupon system isn’t a ledger of debts, but rather the foundation for a culture of mutual support. He told Jay Shetty that living with constant gratitude changes how you see the world and how you come across to others. By acknowledging that he wouldn’t be where he is today without other people’s help, he remains focused on the community that built him.

Mentoring the Next Generation

Due to his desire to share his knowledge, David Grutman was offered a teaching position at the Florida International University (FIU) hospitality school. He created a full, credit-bearing course, in which he broke down his intuitive business sense into a five-week syllabus, although it was one of the hardest yet most rewarding things he’s ever done.

In his classes, David Grutman brought guest speakers such as David Beckham, Rick Ross, and Drake to teach students about branding and relationship-building. He told Jay Shetty that he wanted his students to understand that success wasn’t an overnight phenomenon, but that they first had to be in the trenches. Sharing his journey from bartender to manager to owner became the foundation of Grutman’s book, Take It Personal.

Investing in Young Talents

David Grutman is an entrepreneur with self-described “bad ADD”. He told Jay Shetty that his current focus has shifted toward investing and mentoring young founders. He looks for people who are creative in ways he isn’t and who can move him emotionally with their vision. Once he finds a brand he believes in, he integrates it into his ecosystem.

Grutman explained to Jay Shetty that the ecosystem approach allows him to add great value to young brands by featuring their products in his famous restaurants and clubs. He sees himself as a connector of people and someone who can get anyone on the phone to help a friend or a partner without demanding a cut of the deal. By being a cheerleader for his friends’ success, Grutman thinks that the benefits eventually return tenfold.

Tapping into a New Industry

Next on David Grutman’s list of interests is moving into the world of film and television production. He told Jay Shetty he is currently working with producer Ben Winston on several projects, including a documentary for Black Coffee and a show featuring social media star Alex Earle.

Grutman sees producing as a way to fix problems, something he has been doing his entire life in the hospitality industry. He explained to Jay Shetty that this endeavor allows him to provide a platform for people to tell their stories, something he is passionate about.

David Grutman doesn’t want to be just a hospitality guy and ignores those who try to put him in a box. Instead, he leans into his ability to spot interesting characters and compelling narratives. Whether he is opening a new club, teaching college classes, or producing a TV show, he cares deeply about his work and values people over transactions. And, above all, David Grutman takes it personally.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “David Grutman: The Career Advice Everyone Gets Wrong (#1 Key to Opening Doors That Lead to Success)” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.

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