Jay Shetty & Nicky Jam ON How to Forgive Your Past Self

Have you ever felt like your past is holding you back, making it hard to move forward?

Do you wonder if it's possible to heal from deep trauma and turn your pain into strength?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty sits down with reggaeton superstar Nicky Jam, who opens up about his journey from a troubled upbringing to global fame. Known for his impact on Latin music, Jam shares raw and personal stories of growing up with a mother battling addiction and how those early experiences shaped his career and life.

Freestyling Young

Nicky Jam opened up to Jay Shetty about the early childhood memories that shaped him. At just 12 years old, he was packing groceries in a Bayamón supermarket, entertaining customers with freestyle raps as he worked. He used the money he earned to support his family while rapping for fun.

His impromptu performances grabbed the attention of a woman whose husband happened to be a record producer, a connection that led to his first record deal at a young age. The album was not a success, but it launched his presence in the Puerto Rican mixtape scene. For Jam, this was an important milestone; it opened many doors for him, despite him not speaking perfect Spanish at the time. Later on, he collaborated with Daddy Yankee and rose to prominence as an international reggaeton artist.

Untypical Childhood

The musician had a difficult upbringing. He opened up to Jay Shetty about his traumatic experiences, including witnessing his mother's involvement in prostitution and the chaotic environment he grew up in. Living in a neighborhood where violence and drugs were rampant, Jam normalized the chaos around him, creating a survival mechanism that had lasting effects on him. This time of his life left him with PTSD, an affliction common among people exposed to extreme conditions like war or violence.

Jam told Jay Shetty that his scars from the past have shaped how he navigates relationships, including with his children. He grew up in an unstable environment where parental figures didn't model love. So, he sometimes struggles to express affection properly, even towards his children, and this weighs heavily on him. He tried to rebuild relationships with his family, particularly his mother. While the process is challenging, Nicky acknowledges that forgiveness, both for others and himself, is essential for healing.

Moreover, Nicky Jam shared with Jay Shetty a story about a childhood friend, Billy, who left a lasting impact on him. Billy's mother once responded with kindness when he wet the bed during a sleepover, which was very different than the treatment he received at home. That moment was an eye-opener for young Nicky Jam; he had never felt this type of care and compassion before. Now, decades later, the musician longs to reconnect with Billy to express his gratitude.

Organic Growth Feels Best

Before he knew fame, Nicky Jam was free to do and express himself in any way he desired. However, becoming popular came with its price: he was a public person that many others looked up to. The musician feels that modern life, especially with social media and technology, has become more complicated.

Although his career began with him organically sharing his life on Instagram, he now feels pressured by labels and others to continue creating content, even when it feels unnatural. To Jam, this takes away from the authenticity that he very much values. He told Jay Shetty that he operates best when he can follow his own instincts rather than being commanded to do things.

Nicky Jam has an independent spirit and has always lived life on his own terms, for better or worse. This autonomy has led to both success and hardships, including dangerous encounters and brushes with the law. Yet he remains committed to helping and inspiring others, whether through music or charitable actions.

Fighting Addiction

The musician opened up to Jay Shetty about his struggles with mental health, admitting that, despite his success, he still faces anxiety and the lingering effects of his past. To him, addressing mental health is crucial, especially for men, who often hide their struggles.

Being heavily exposed to lead during his childhood, Jam suffered its consequences: this long-term exposure in his early years lead affected his nervous system, making him more prone to anxiety. To cope with this feeling, Nicky Jam found comfort in alcohol. Despite his success, his past keeps following him, sometimes pushing him towards unhealthy behaviors. Yet only when he realized that he had missed entire days with the most important people in his life did he decide to sober up.

Smoking marijuana has helped Jam manage anxiety and stay away from alcohol, even though he was harshly criticized for it by people who didn't know or understand his reasons. He began smoking weed at eleven years old, then harder drugs like cocaine and heroin, eventually becoming addicted to prescription pills. Despite being sober for years, fame made the musician feel lonely, and he resorted back to drinking.

We Are All Human

Jam told Jay Shetty that his partner and people close to him have motivated him to change. Although he underwent many transformations, he struggles with being a role model. He sees himself as a human battling his demons, so he prefers to be seen as a person capable of making mistakes rather than being idolized.

Nicky Jam shared with Jay Shetty how lonely he felt at times, although surrounded by good people, including friends, family, and his children. His past trauma still affects who he is today, and he sometimes seeks solitude, even though he loves the people close to him.

Although materially successful, Nicky Jam emphasized to Jay Shetty that his external achievements don't prevent him from experiencing insecurities, depression, and emotional struggles. He wants to raise awareness that even successful people are human and deal with the same challenges as anyone else.

Turning His Life Around

Nicky Jam recounts his past experiences of living on the edge, including nearly being killed numerous times. His youth was marked by the absence of his mother, so he developed a reckless disregard for life, but his rebellious behavior cost him three years in prison.

After being released from the penitentiary, Jam battled drug addiction and felt embarrassed about his looks. However, a performance in Colombia changed the trajectory of his life yet again. There, he received a standing ovation, a sign that his audience still valued him and that he was still relevant in the music scene. The musician told Jay Shetty that Colombian people inspired him to reclaim his identity and pursue success. He believes in finding a "power place" in life where you feel accepted and celebrated, just like he feels about Colombia.

Forgiveness and Gratitude

The musician has a complicated relationship with his mother, a former drug addict. He told Jay Shetty that talking with her isn't easy, especially due to her difficult past; however, he acknowledges and understands her struggles now as an adult. Despite their complicated history, Jam is grateful for having his mother in his life and is actively involved in caring for her.

Gratitude plays an essential role in Nicky Jam's life. While he doesn't pray in the traditional way, he considers God to be a close friend. He feels he has a purpose in life and is thankful for all the blessings he has received in life.

Moreover, the musician ended his longstanding feud with Daddy Yankee. Despite their past, he told Jay Shetty they are now on good terms, sharing mutual respect and understanding. Jam considers it important to forgive to move forward and that life is too short to hold grudges. He believes in the power of forgiveness to enhance his happiness and quality of life, allowing him to live freely without the burden of resentment.

Music as a Form of Expression

For Jam, music is more than just a career—it's a form of therapy. His latest album, Insomnio, addresses the emotional challenges he has faced, from struggles with addiction to late-night battles with insomnia. Through each track, he shares personal stories that touch on universal themes of love, loss, and self-discovery.

Nicky Jam's music allows him to convey emotions that words sometimes cannot. He aims to connect with others who may be going through similar experiences by sharing his struggles through his art. Nicky Jam's music is relatable due to the vulnerability in his lyrics and his willingness to address difficult subjects such as addiction and mental health.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “Nicky Jam ON How to Forgive Yourself from the Past & Free Yourself from Shame and Trauma” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.