Jay Shetty & Julia Fox ON Surviving Addiction

In this episode of On Purpose, recorded at Madison Square Garden, actress, author, and former dominatrix Julia Fox opens up to Jay Shetty about everything from addiction and sex work to motherhood and healing. Known for her breakout role in Uncut Gems and her raw, unfiltered memoir Down the Drain, Fox unveils the complex, resilient, and self-aware woman behind the fame.

How much do you truly know about your idols?

In this episode of On Purpose, recorded at Madison Square Garden, actress, author, and former dominatrix Julia Fox opens up to Jay Shetty about everything from addiction and sex work to motherhood and healing. Known for her breakout role in Uncut Gems and her raw, unfiltered memoir Down the Drain, Fox unveils the complex, resilient, and self-aware woman behind the fame.

The Main Character Mindset

Growing up in New York City, Julia Fox developed a so-called "main character energy." She told Jay Shetty that simply growing up there makes you embrace that mindset. Every day brings chaos and color, where even the smallest moment — like a subway door stopping directly in front of you — can set the tone for the day.

Even though she jokingly called herself her own muse, Fox doesn't take herself too seriously. It's the everyday experiences and people, in general, that deeply inspire her. She told Jay Shetty that life is not all black and white, but full of gray areas. People's truths, though often different, are equally valid. One of Fox's interests is people watching, a hobby that taught her to absorb meaning even from the smallest of interactions.

Escaping a Painful Childhood

Growing up, Julia Fox often felt unimportant to those closest to her, as she confessed to Jay Shetty. Despite her success, she still feels that way sometimes. At times, the validation for her work seems insufficient, as her inner voice keeps whispering in her ear how unworthy she is.

Fox's home was far from a loving one. Her parents constantly fought and she would lock herself up in the bathroom, turn on the hair dryer, and stay there until there was no more scandal outside. Luckily, her grandparents loved and encouraged her in ways her parents wouldn't. Fox told Jay Shetty that her grandmother encouraged her creativity through art and culture, while her grandfather was the emotional shelter she so desperately needed. She goes as far as claiming they were the only connections that kept her alive.

Similarly, Jay Shetty also grew up in an abusive home, where he spent most of his time mediating his parents' marriage, an experience that shaped his career in helping others manage emotional pain. Yet being raised in a dysfunctional family has damaging, long-lasting impacts on a child.

Entering the Sex Industry and Reclaiming Her Power

At 17, Julia Fox became a sex worker. Unhappy with her condition, she decided to take her life into her own hands. She was already good at compartmentalization, able to dissociate and to put pain in a separate mental box, in order to keep functioning as a person. These skills turned out handy in the dominatrix world. It even made her feel empowered at the time.

Julia Fox told Jay Shetty that becoming a dominatrix felt like a way to reclaim her power and release her rage toward men and injustices in the world. To her, this chapter of her life was both degrading and therapeutic. She mastered role-play, which later served her in her acting career. However, Fox warns that her experience was unique and everyone has a different path when entering the industry.

Julia Fox never set out to be a sex worker on purpose. She learned about the dominatrix world from her friend's sister, who was doing it at the time. Drawn to the aesthetics and confidence it seemed to offer, she saw it as a survival path when traditional jobs couldn’t support her.

Fox observed that the more powerful her clients were professionally, the more submissive they often were privately. She realized that humans crave balance, and the dominatrix space allowed her to witness those inner contradictions up close. Jay Shetty jokingly noted that while he learned about balance in a monastery, Fox discovered the same truth through an entirely different path.

Surviving in a Hostile World

To anyone considering sex work, Julia Fox warns: Establish boundaries and do not cross them. The moment you allow that line to blur, it becomes difficult to regain control, and the emotional toll increases. Clients will often push limits and take as much as you are willing to give.

Not all sex workers have the same experience. For Fox, acting as a dominatrix was one of the few places where women had full control. Gender roles and societal imbalances become more understandable from this angle, she told Jay Shetty.

Fox used to pray daily for a sugar daddy to change her life. Once she got one, she was able to leave the sex industry behind and see new horizons. Her spirituality was strongly shaped by her Italian heritage and her believing grandfather. Believing in a higher power gave her strength and comfort during difficult moments.

To Julia Fox, prayers are more than wishful thinking, but acts of manifestation. Yet her transformation came gradually. She told Jay Shetty that she started truly living for herself only after parting with her sugar daddy.

From Heroin Addict to Responsible Mother

In order to survive, Julia Fox needed to numb her pain, so she turned to drugs. They helped her shut down emotionally. She shared with Jay Shetty that it was a necessary defense mechanism to survive. Heroin, she said, felt like being back in the womb: safe, warm, and disconnected from pain. With a strained relationship to her mother, the drug became a maternal stand-in.

Her use was intermittent, spanning from high school into her mid-20s. But it took her best friend's death in 2019 to finally confront the addiction. Julia Fox made the conscious decision to stay sober in honor of her friend, ensuring that the tragedy had some meaning, even if small.

Shortly after her friend’s passing, Fox became pregnant. She gladly embraced motherhood and was determined to give her son the childhood she never had. In her memoir, Down the Drain, Julia Fox wrote that motherhood saved her. She told Jay Shetty that her son grounded her in ways nothing else ever had before. Fox prioritizes showing up fully for him, although she is still battling negative self-talk. Her goal is to create a peaceful and stable home.

Cast in Uncut Gems

Julia Fox traced her move into acting to her “hood celebrity” status. Directors looking for an unconventional female lead heard about her and invited her to audition for Uncut Gems, the role that changed everything. Despite studio hesitations, she told Jay Shetty that her screen test with Adam Sandler proved compelling enough to secure the part.

Julia Fox stressed the value of authenticity. Even when she sometimes felt her behavior was embarrassing, it paid off. Her confidence didn’t stem from perfection, but from owning her truth. Fox told the audience not to hide their quirks, because someone out there is paying attention. Vulnerability, not polish, is what ultimately opened doors for her.

A Complex Relationship With Her Mother

Fox recalled moments when her mother laughed at her dreams, both as a child and as an actress. Even today, the memories still linger in her mind. While she understands where her mother came from, she told Jay Shetty that the damage was already done. It took her time to see her mother as a human being rather than a villain, but that doesn't erase the wounds.

Julia Fox openly discussed trying to create a relationship with her mother, but was often met with denial or disinterest. Her mother wanted to have as little as possible to do with her. In time, Fox reached a point of acceptance. She didn't forgive her mother, but understood that some relationships may never change. She told Jay Shetty that she stopped forcing something that kept disappointing her, for the sake of her own peace and her child.

The Path to Healing

Since she grew up in a home where domestic violence was the norm, Fox told Jay Shetty that she, too, had violent tendencies. In the past, the only way to resolve a conflict meant physical confrontation, rather than discussion. Yet she understood that her violent reactions were nothing more than a trauma response, and they don't define who she is today.

It's been two years since Fox quit weed, and he feels like it changed everything in her life. For the first time, she could feel her emotions. There were no more substances to numb it, but rawness. After so many years, she finally embraced discomfort and allowed herself to move through it, rather than avoid it. As part of her healing, she also chose to be celibate for the past three years, to allow herself to rebuild a healthier relationship with herself.

Now, her lifestyle is completely different. She has a stable home, gets regular sleep, is reliable, and has gained self-respect. She used to chase big moments to feel happy in the past, but now she is working on loving herself the way she is. When Jay Shetty asked what she most needed to hear today, Fox replied, “You are worthy.” She acknowledged that it’s something she needs on a daily basis. Not because she doesn’t believe it, but because the voice that says otherwise still lingers.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “Julia Fox EXCLUSIVE: ‘I Still Hear a Voice That Says I’m Nothing’ (The Real Story Behind Surviving Addiction, Life as a Sex Worker, and How Motherhood Saved Her)” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.