Jay Shetty & John Edward ON Stop Trying to Move on After a Loss

What if the people we have lost are not truly gone, but are simply waiting for us to find a new way to listen?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty interviewed medium John Edward about grief, the survival of consciousness, and the healing power of connection. Edward spent over four decades bringing mediumship into the mainstream through his TV show Crossing Over and his extensive work as an author and lecturer.

Why People Seek Out Mediums

When people seek out a medium, they usually have a specific interaction in mind, Jay Shetty noted. Edward agrees. However, they are sometimes unsure what they are looking for – they may come for closure, when, in reality, they need connection.

Edward told Jay Shetty that a medium isn't there to fix a person's grief, but rather to provide evidence that consciousness survives and that love transcends physical death. He admitted that every reading starts with the client wishing their loved ones back in the physical realm. This is why it's crucial to manage expectations before such an experience and to understand that our physical needs don't apply to those who have passed, as they are usually fine on the other side.

Dealing with Skepticism and Cynicism

It's no secret that many people think mediumship is a ruse and a make-believe. Erdward told Jay Shetty that he used to be skeptical himself, but he changed his mind when someone gave him a reading at 15, being told things the medium couldn't have known through ordinary means. The experience turned him into a seeker, so in 1985, he read every book available on the occult and the paranormal.

Edward makes a clear distinction between skepticism and cynicism: skeptics are willing to be proven wrong, while cynics have already made up their minds and refuse any evidence that may prove them wrong. He told Jay Shetty that he welcomes skepticism because it encourages due diligence. He shared a story of a former insurance fraud investigator who followed him to various events, trying to unmask him as a con artist, but, in the process, convinced herself that his work was genuine.

Abilities Confirmed in the Laboratory

John Edward underwent rigorous scientific testing to validate his work; he participated in the 1999 HBO documentary Life After Life, produced by Linda Ellerby, in which he and other mediums were studied by Dr. Gary Schwartz, a Harvard- and Yale-educated scientist. He told Jay Shetty that the experiments involved EKGs and EEGs to monitor brain activity and heart rates, as well as a protocol known as the silent sitter experiment. In this setup, the medium provides information while the client sits behind them, remaining completely silent for the first ten minutes to rule out cues from body language or verbal intonation.

The data from these studies, later published in the book The Afterlife Experiments, ruled out cold reading and other fraudulent techniques.¹ However, despite the scientific evidence, Edward realized that about 20% of people will believe regardless, and 20% will never believe, no matter what science says. He now focuses on raising the bar for his field and refuses to go for the low-hanging fruit, such as mentioning common symbols like butterflies or feathers. Instead, he seeks deeper validations, such as conversations that just happened or private moments only the deceased would know about.

Information Download Through the Senses

John Edward shared with Jay Shetty the process of receiving information during a session. He explained that he sees, hears, and feels energy, which are commonly known as clairvoyance (clear seeing), clairaudience (clear hearing), and clairsentience (clear feeling), though he jokingly tells Jay Shetty that there is nothing clear about it; it's all rather cloudy.

The information comes to him as a download or a secondary thought. Edward compared it to reading a book and having your mind wander to something else. He has to hold two thoughts at once: the conversation he is having with the living and the information the spirit is feeding him. He explained to Jay Shetty that he often looks at a blank wall or an amorphous shape rather than the client, a strategy that allows him to see images in his mind's eye.

Watch Out for Scammers

In Edward's opinion, everyone can fine-tune their intuition to make decisions based on energy rather than fear. For those seeking mediumship, he recommends being cautious and watching for red flags before booking a session. In general, those who claim there is a curse on you that requires money to remove or who ask for money to light a candle on your behalf are not to be trusted.

Sometimes, a medium may blame the spirits for the lack of connection, but Edward warns that it's usually the medium's fault, not the spirits', and you shouldn't trust them either. Others may give philosophical advice instead of real knowledge, or flowery, generic information without proving that it's tied to your loved one specifically. John Edward told Jay Shetty that a legitimate medium should interview the spirit to get names, dates, and understand why the connection is happening now, of all times.

Processing Grief Through Readings

John Edward grew up in New York to a police officer father who was not supportive of the spiritual encounters. So, he also used to make fun of mediums, following in his father's footsteps. But an accurate reading at 15 marked the turning point. He told Jay Shetty that when he began developing his abilities, he focused on the living until his uncle's death, after which his focus shifted toward connecting with the spirit realm.

When his own mother died of cancer, Edward's life changed for good, and he delved deeper into the topic of grief. He told Jay Shetty that, at first, he used to apologize to clients who came for a reading about their lives but were surrounded by spirits who wanted to connect with them. One of his clients was happy to spend the session talking about her deceased father, and that was the moment when Edward understood that knowing our loved ones are still around helps us in processing loss. He also understood that his mother was still with him, which was a big help in dealing with his own grief.

What Happens After We Die?

According to Edward, the afterlife is a belief system that includes reincarnation and super consciousness. He compared it to the internet: it's not a physical place, yet you can access and communicate through it. He told Jay Shetty that we are like a reality show for those who have passed, who watch our lives from another dimension.

Edward believes that even if the soul reincarnates into a new body, a lingering core consciousness of the life it lived remains untouched, so mediums can access it. He admitted to Jay Shetty that his unique perspective on what happens after death helped him overcome his childhood fear that he would miss his mother in the afterlife if she reincarnated before he got there.

Getting Additional Information

In addition to mediumship, John Edward utilizes numerology and astrology to provide context for a client's life. He explains to Jay Shetty that every person has a Life Path number calculated from their birth date. For example, Edward is a Life Path 9, which represents a life of service and learning through loss, which fits perfectly with his career.

Additionally, Edward uses the numerological concept of a Personal Year, a vibrational pattern that changes every birthday. He told Jay Shetty that understanding these cycles helps him project probabilities for a person's life. In his view, astrology is like an MRI – no need to scan the entire body, but you can check a specific point to understand the spiritual lessons you're currently navigating. He also encourages his clients to consult an astrologer to examine their chart for the time of their loved one's passing, as this may provide meaningful context for their suffering.

Honoring their Memory

John Edward compared grief to a heart pillow: patients who have open-heart surgery are given a pillow to hold so that if they cough, they don't tear their stitches. He told Jay Shetty that one side of that pillow represents love, while the other side symbolizes grief. Throughout life, we tend to hold the love side close, but when we experience loss, it flips to grief; Edward believes that the only way to flip it back to love is by honoring our emotions.

In Japan, broken pottery is repaired with gold, an art called Kintsugi, which highlights the cracks instead of hiding them. Edward told Jay Shetty that grief leaves similar cracks in our lives, but even after we heal, we won't be the same again. He encourages anyone going through this emotion to express rather than suppress it and to have meaningful conversations with their loved ones on their deathbed.

To maintain a healthy connection with those you've lost, Edward suggests saying their names and telling their stories to people who never knew them. He told Jay Shetty that storytelling can bring people who have long been gone back to life. Another way to keep their memory alive is through food, music, and traditions. Edward added that someone's value doesn't remain in physical objects, but in the continuation of the bond. While we must let go physically, it's important to keep the bridge of love open across dimensions.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “John Edward: Stop Trying to “Move On” After Loss (Use THIS Daily Practice to Make Peace Without the Answers)” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.

Disclaimer: This episode reflects John Edward’s personal experiences and perspectives. It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Any references to health, diet, or lifestyle practices are his individual choices and may not be suitable for everyone. Results and experiences vary. Always consult a qualified professional before making changes to your health, wellness, or personal care routines.

¹Gary E. Schwartz, The Afterlife Experiments: Breakthrough Scientific Evidence of Life After Death (New York: Pocket Books, 2002).