Jay Shetty & Emma Grede ON Tricks That Open Doors

Is your fear of being imperfect holding you back from achieving the unimaginable?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty interviewed Emma Grede, co-founder of global brands like Good American, Skims, and Safely. Returning to the podcast, Grede opened up about her journey, overcoming self-imposed limitations, navigating societal double standards, mastering focus, and balancing professional ambition with family life.

Silencing the Inner Critic

Emma Grede told Jay Shetty that, like many others, she used to spend her life worrying about what others might think of her; she admitted that, even now, she sometimes feels pressure. She missed out on many opportunities because of self-imposed limitations, and for a long time, she actively chose to avoid conversations or putting herself out there.

But one day, she realized she didn't need to prove anything to others and chose to focus inward. She told Jay Shetty that her goal became to wake up every day and make the deliberate decision to do her very best, primarily for herself. Grede explained that meeting her own expectations for the day helped her unwind and genuinely feel good about her efforts. However, this change didn't happen overnight, and it required intention.

Recognizing and Leaning into Societal Barriers

Being a businesswoman is no walk in the park, Grede told Jay Shetty. Studies show that men apply for jobs when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, while women do it when they meet all of them.¹ This shows a discrepancy in the level of self-confidence between genders. Emma Grede noted that it's not only because women are holding themselves back, but that societal barriers are real.

To counter the systemic challenges she encountered, Grede consciously structured her companies so that women led, invested, and held positions of power. She also deliberately chose to be unapologetically herself and refused to play the conventional game of being demure and hyper-likeable.

Excellent and Visible

If you find yourself at the beginning of your professional journey, Grede advises focusing on yourself first. She stressed to Jay Shetty that it's essential to make decisions based on what's personally important to you and never sacrifice ambition. You must stay open and honest about what you need at all times.

Moreover, Grede believes you must focus intently on your current endeavor and strive to excel at it, whether you are building a career or working in a service role. She told Jay Shetty that applying yourself wholeheartedly to the present task is the mechanism that propels a person toward the unimaginable, allowing others to recognize your skills outside of your current circumstances. Excellence is a magnetic field that attracts opportunity.

Another trait that will help you grow is the willingness to put yourself out there: volunteer for tasks even when you feel unprepared. Grede admits that this attitude requires vulnerability, but it will allow you to confront your insecurities and prove to yourself that you can do more than you think. Growing up, she always dreamt of becoming a fashion designer, in spite of her educational and economic background.

Competence Over Passion

Emma Grede told Jay Shetty that she visualized the life that she wanted. She grew up watching Oprah, who often discussed gratitude, mindfulness, and manifestation on her show. She is also lucky that her family allowed her to be her true self and didn't impose any limitations on her. They raised her to believe that she could achieve anything if she was willing to put in the effort.

As a mother of four, Grede now prioritizes helping her children find their purpose and passion. She explained that being kind to yourself is crucial because that is the only relationship that follows you throughout your entire life. You are the maker or breaker of your internal world, so it's essential that you show yourself compassion and grace.

For people still unsure what path to choose, Grede recommends steering clear of passion. She argued that following passion is inherently difficult and not always appropriate. Instead of seeking passion, Grede recommends finding what you are genuinely good at and what energizes you. Observe what lights you up versus what drains your energy.

It's important that you focus on what you can do well, because confidence follows competence, not the other way around. If you concentrate only on passion, you may lose interest when work becomes difficult, whereas if you focus on competence, you ensure that you remain driven towards continuous improvement.

Focus Opens Doors

To Grede, focus is a force multiplier that is essential in all kinds of relationships, personal or professional. She is convinced that every successful person has been unequivocally focused on something until they had major breakthroughs.

Modern culture encourages us to be so many different things at the same time, which eventually distracts focus and diffuses effort. Grede told Jay Shetty that, despite co-founding multiple successful businesses, she focuses on one core expertise: being an excellent merchant who understands consumer demand and pricing. 

Grede stressed that the path to success does not become easier; on the contrary, she has never worked harder than she does today. However, she insisted that if you desire to accomplish great things, you must be willing to sacrifice other pursuits and go deep on one thing only.

Know Your Strengths

Jay Shetty shared that he used a tool called StrengthsFinder, which helped him recognize that strategy was his number one strength, leading to a massive life shift. This realization made him more confident and also helped him become better at the things he was naturally inclined towards.

It's crucial to understand your personal strengths because they reveal the skills you need from the people around you. Nobody can succeed alone, Grede stated. This is why it's important to build a team with complementary skills to your own. Focus on maximizing your existing strengths and becoming phenomenal at that.

Work-Life Balance Is a Myth

Successful women are often met with societal criticism when they have children. High-profile CEOs are constantly questioned about maintaining a perfect balance between work and family. Grede admitted to Jay Shetty that she used to have mom guilt whenever she had to travel for work. But she realized that constantly apologizing to her children about her schedule wouldn't be a good example for them.

Instead, Grede chose to be honest with her children and tell them that she genuinely loves her work and has an amazing time while travelling. Now, her children feel excited for her rather than pity. It's possible to be a successful mother while also ensuring your children feel loved, she added. She advises forgetting about what social media is trying to make us think a good mother should look like.

Grede recommends working mothers create a list of non-negotiable activities, such as attending school plays or taking an all-girls trip once a year. You don't need to fit in anyone else's expectations; your family decides the rules, and nobody else can tell you otherwise. However, you must be aware that there are many trade-offs you'll have to make.

For instance, Emma Grede gave up dinner with her children to be on stage for this interview. She told Jay Shetty that we need to stop chasing the illusion of balance and stop lying about how difficult it all is. She believes she is supporting other women who feel burdened by unrealistic expectations by honestly acknowledging the tough or seemingly selfish decisions she makes as a mother and businesswoman.

The Power of Testing and Learning

Emma Grede offered a member of the audience the opportunity to pitch their business idea to her. She advises that, no matter how bold your idea is, you must test it in a small, controlled environment first. The member of the audience wanted to launch her product directly on global channels, but Grede advised her to take it slow.

However, if you have an idea, it's essential to start working on it right away, Grede explained. She told Jay Shetty that you need to act on your business idea immediately, before putting it in front of investors or applying for large-scale deals. She emphasized the importance of testing and learning, where you fail, iterate, and then start again. It's essential that you take action rather than wait for the perfect day to begin.

By perfecting your product at a small scale and putting yourself out there, your chances of growing are already higher than if you were perfecting the idea without putting in the physical work. So, Emma Grede and Jay Shetty advise taking action now.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “Emma Grede: #1 Trick Successful People Use Every Day (THIS Will Open Doors You Didn’t Know Existed!)” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.

Disclaimer: This episode reflects Emma Grede’s personal experiences and perspectives. It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Any references to health, diet, or lifestyle practices are her individual choices and may not be suitable for everyone. Results and experiences vary. Always consult a qualified professional before making changes to your health, wellness, or personal care routines.

‍¹Mohr, Tara Sophia. “Why Women Don’t Apply for Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified.” Harvard Business Review, August 25, 2014. https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified