Jay Shetty & Chirag Ghelani ON All You Need Is One Yes

Have you ever wondered what it truly takes to change paths in life while still feeling a sense of purpose?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty explores the themes of personal growth, career reinvention, and the importance of genuine friendship. His special guest is longtime friend Nanda (Chirag Ghelani), a former lawyer turned leadership coach. Together, they discuss the successes, failures, mindset shifts, and spiritual lessons they have learned from each other throughout their long-lasting friendship.

Early Days and Becoming a Monk

Before becoming famous for his health and wellness messages and podcast, Jay Shetty was preparing to enter the corporate world. However, amazed by a monk's presentation, he decided to explore the monastic path instead, a decision that surprised his friends and family. Ghelani explains that he started off as Jay's spiritual mentor, since he had engaged in these practices for a much longer time. Over time, the two became friends, and they keep in touch regularly.

Jay Shetty felt that choosing a life of simplicity and service in a monastery was an all-or-nothing commitment. When he left the ashram, he felt like he was going through a divorce: as he walked away from the life he thought would be forever, it seemed like the love of his life was slipping away. He felt lost, had no plan on how to re-enter the corporate world, and was worried about starting fresh.

Jay also felt judged by members of his community. He had to return to living with his parents and felt like he had failed. He faced health issues, lacked career clarity, and had a desire to continue to share wisdom, but he wasn't sure how to monetize or financially sustain this calling. However, Jay Shetty explains that pain often precedes potential - it is during times of failure that you discover unique opportunities for growth.

Facing Rejection

After leaving the monastery, Jay Shetty sent out dozens of job applications and received over forty rejections. He was unable to secure interviews for corporate positions, in spite of his solid academic background. It is during this time that he learned that you need only one "yes", a single person to give you the opportunity to prove yourself.

Jay shares that facing multiple rejections built his resilience. He learned the importance of persevering until one door finally opened. He also figured that life is like a numbers game: the more you try, the greater your chances of success. Ghelani adds that knocking on many doors is a sign of humility, because it involves you failing time and time again without becoming bitter or resentful.

From Law to Coaching

Similar to Jay Shetty's path, Ghelani pivoted from a successful law career to coaching. He found himself unfulfilled in his role as a lawyer, despite the professional achievement and family pride that came with this role. He describes feeling stuck, even though from the outside he seemed to be thriving.

Ghelani admits that it was Jay who nudged him to explore other options and focus on his natural talent for communication, empathy, and public speaking. Initially, he laughed off the idea, but the more he thought about it, the more appealing it became. Gradually, he accepted that he had the ability for leadership development.

Jay Shetty and Chirag Ghelani discuss the concept of sunk cost bias, an idea that often traps people in careers they no longer enjoy because they have already invested much time, money, or reputation. For Ghelani, he had to confront his family's and cultural beliefs that viewed a law career as a symbol of stability and prestige. So, he chose to work part-time as a coach until he eventually took the leap and changed his career path.

Peer Mentorship

Jay Shetty and Chirag Ghelani used to work in the same area, and would meet up for a lunch stroll every day. During this time, they discussed career moves, personal transitions, and spiritual insights. During these walks, Jay tested various personal development tools, such as personality tests or coaching methods. He discovered that he could keep up his motivation by engaging in self-reflection and getting constructive feedback from a trustworthy friend.

Their daily meetings show how powerful small, consistent investments in friendship can be. While there is a time and place for group events, too, Jay and Ghelani argue that significant life changes often start from one-on-one interactions. So, instead of using their lunch breaks solely as escapism from the jobs that didn't fully fulfill them, they used the time to reflect and strategize next steps together.

Marrying Ambition with Spirituality

Jay Shetty explains that it is possible to reconcile ambition with spiritual practice, as they are not mutually exclusive. However, he notes that we need to make the difference between being ambitious and aggressive. In his view, ambition involves setting high expectations for yourself, while aggressiveness spills over into how you treat others.

From a spiritual perspective, Jay finds it important to focus on high standards toward your personal conduct rather than pressuring others to keep up with your pace. He learned self-mastery from his monk teacher, who lived a disciplined life without having unrealistic expectations from those around him.

Moreover, Jay Shetty and Chriag Ghelani don't see money as the root of all evil, but they consider their finances mere tools that you can choose to use for service or self-gain, depending on your mindset.

Male Friendships

Jay Shetty opens up about male friendships and the challenges they face because society discourages them from looking vulnerable. However, Jay appreciates his bond with Chirag Ghelani, because he had been open about his struggles, insecurities and uncertainties early on. His honesty helped break the ice between them, allowing Jay to also share his own weaknesses without fear of judgment.

For many men, it is only recently that they can freely speak about mental health and their vulnerabilities. Jay Shetty believes that strong male friendships require creating a safe space where both parties can take off their armor. He compares it with a warrior who needs a break from time to time to take off the helmet and shield to expose the wounds that need healing.

Similarly, Ghelani believes that relationships thrive when there is balance. It is a risk you're taking when you open up in front of someone. Still, never opening up can also lead to isolation So, he suggests balancing honesty: show enough vulnerability for trust to develop, yet be strategic about whom and when to share personal feelings.

Setting Boundaries

In parenthood, you need the same principles of resilience, challenge, and independence to raise children. Jay Shetty and Chirag Ghelani discuss how important it is to encourage children to address manageable obstacles, teaching them that not every stumble needs their parents' intervention. By allowing them to make their age-appropriate decisions, you encourage the development of self-awareness and confidence, as well as their personal boundaries.

Building lasting relationships involves setting boundaries early on. Jay Shetty explains how being in the public eye can blur the line between casual acquaintances and genuine close friends. Therefore, it is crucial to enforce boundaries and to maintain authenticity and protect your energy. Your ability to live fully (whether as a parent, professional, or spiritual seeker) requires careful discernment regarding how much you can invest in various relationships.

Humble Beginnings in New York

Jay Shetty and Chirag Ghelani reminisce about the time when Jay lived in a small apartment in New York. At that time, he had relocated from London for early career opportunities, including a role with Huffington Post. The beginning was humble, but they both fondly remember those times that made them become even closer to each other.

Jay and Ghelani appreciate how their experiences, together through thick and thin, create memories worth sharing with others later in life. Jay also recalls a conversation with a 70-year-old man who spoke about living a life rich in stories to tell rather than full of regrets. His view encouraged seizing spontaneous opportunities and engaging in adventures, small or big. Jay emphasizes that true personal growth comes from everyday moments rather than big milestones, so he advises the listeners to appreciate the mundane and seemingly boring moments of their lives.

Sustaining Gratitude and Striving for Growth

Jay Shetty shared with Chirag Ghelani how he constantly strives to become better. However, he reminds himself how far he's already come and tries to see his success through the eyes of his younger self. This practice ensures he doesn't trivialize his current position and achievements and that every new milestone remains meaningful to him.

Conversely, when times are tough, Jay Shetty keeps an optimistic outlook, thinking about how he will tell the story when he finally reaches the other side of that uncomfortable situation. He explains that this is his way of ensuring he remains focused on progress rather than roadblocks. Jay and Ghelani agree there needs to be a balance between ambition and humility at all times, as you can have high standards for yourself but still be gracious to others, and don't extend your expectations of yourself to them.

Jay Shetty and Chirag Ghelani built a beautiful friendship that started almost two decades ago. However, they admit it requires efforts from both sides, as well as the willingness to be vulnerable in front of each other, but also honest about where you're standing at all times. When you become open to showing weakness and nourishing genuine relationships, you can build a life rich in opportunity and satisfying personal connections.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “All You Need is 1 YES (How To Push Through Rejection)” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.